Dr. Laura Berman Webcast Transcript
Oprah: Lord, this is a new day. Have mercy. (Laughter.) I would have never expected that from Austin, Texas, I swear. I declare I wouldn't expect it from you girls down there. But okay.
Dr. Berman: It's a really common question this I get asked. And, yes, diet does affect it. If—you know, the things that seem to affect it in negative ways are alcohol, smoking, broccoli, spicy foods like curry will negatively affect. Positively affecting would be pineapple juice, pepper mints, celery, cranberry juice. Those have all been studied and seem to improve the—
Dr. Berman: —the flavor of semen. Or joy juice, which she calls it which I think is hilarious.
Oprah: Did you think long and hard about that question today?
Dr. Berman: She did.
Christi: Of course.
Oprah: Of course you did.
Christi: I have another question.
Oprah: Okay, let's hear it.
Christi: You were talking about the Aphrodite, and I've noticed that some of those vibrators are really, really powerful, and I was wondering if you use them frequently, can you get any nerve damage in that area?
Dr. Berman: Right. You—
Oprah: Because that Aphrodite looks like a lawn mower, doesn't it?You just go right in there. It's like a Roto-Rooter.
Oprah: Take you out, that thing.
Dr. Berman: Right. Right.
Christi: Like a jack hammer thing.
Oprah: God. The crew's loving this, by the way.
Dr. Berman: I know. And they're loving your discomfort.
Oprah: Hey, fellas. (Laughter.)
Dr. Berman: The best part is seeing you squirm so much.
Oprah: I know. I've never squirmed this much since the Michael Jackson interview in 1992. Okay, go ahead.
Dr. Berman: So there's no evidence to ever have suggested that you can quote-unquote do nerve damage. But—so I wouldn't worry about that. I think along the lines of another question that we got earlier, you can get kind of used to that kind of stimulation so that regular partner stimulation doesn't feel as intense. And many women if they're—if they already have good sensation, you want to get a vibrator that has escalating vibration so it starts off low and gets higher and higher and higher, because you may need a lower sensation—a lower vibration than a woman who might be having less sensation because of perimenopause or because of any medications she's on and she needs a lot of vibration. So you don't want to use more than you need mostly because you start to feel numb after a little bit.
Oprah: Okay. Anybody else in Austin?
Casie: I have one.
Oprah: Go ahead.
Casie: Mine's a little less shocking. We have preteens in our house, and we're finding it increasingly difficult to have alone time in our house because our preteens stay up later than us. Do you have any advice for us who have preteens in the house and are trying to work our way around it?
Dr. Berman: Yeah. Well, I think the first thing is not to be so freaked out about them having a concept of what you're doing. I mean, it doesn't mean that you need to give them details and what you're doing and say, "Okay, honey, good night. We're going to make love now." But—
Oprah: That's too much information for preteens.
Dr. Berman: That's too much information. But the first thing any parent should do is put a lock on their door and have their kids learn from an early age that "sometimes Mommy and Daddy, you know, we love each other and we take private time from time to time." And that should be an ongoing thing their whole lives. You have a monitor in their room when they're young. If they need you, you can go to them. But you lock that door and you give yourself that private time. And them knowing what you're doing is okay. You're giving them the model of what a loving, intimate sexual relationship is, and that's what you eventually want for them. So the intimacy, the romance, the sexual connection, they see the two of you have, is going to be what they're going to look for in their future mate.
Oprah: I think that's really powerful, because I think so many parents feel that "if I leave—if I lock the door then it means I'm not being a good parent. I should be available to my children at all times."
Dr. Berman: Right.
Oprah: Right? Is that what you were thinking or not?
Casie: Yeah. I'm concerned with what they might think and how they're going to feel about it and how much therapy—
Oprah: They may think something's going on in there—what they're going to think is something is going in there that they're not privy too.
Dr. Berman: And they're old enough they're going to think, "Ew, Mom and Dad are doing it." But that's—(laughter)—that's not damaging. That's not—what would be damaging is if you gave them the details afterward, you know, or if you did the reverse and talked to them about how you had no sex. I mean, you don't want to—they shouldn't be privy to what goes on in your sex life. But knowing that you are sexual together is good. It's healthy. It's natural. It's nothing to be ashamed of. You're modeling for them what a loving relationship is.
Oprah: That's right. Because that's how you learn what to do in your own relationships.
Dr. Berman: Yeah. Absolutely.
Oprah: How you see your father treat your mother and vice versa.
Dr. Berman: Absolutely.
Oprah: Okay. Thank you, Austin ladies. Thank you. You shockeroos. Shockeroos. (Laughter.) Okay.
Dr. Berman: Go eat some celery and pineapple juice. Or tell him to.
Oprah: Let's go to Joy from Atlanta on Skype. Joy?
Joy: Hi, Oprah. Hi, Dr. Berman. Nice to see you.
Oprah: Nice to see you.
Joy: This has been a fabulous series. I'm enjoying it immensely.
Oprah: Thank you.