Men: What Do They Want With Us?
Richard: My work. Getting it done and done to my own impossibly high standards.
Jaime: As someone who's about to take that next step into marriage, I think about the responsibilities of being a provider, a husband, and later a father. My girlfriend has a great relationship with her father. I respect him, so I want to be all those things that he was. I want her to be able to count on me. I worry, "Can I deliver the goods?"
Brian: My ability to provide a secure world for my family.
Ivan: The health of my wife, and being able to stay economically viable as I get old. You can say 60 is young, but my ability to play for the Dodgers is greatly diminished.
René: I was taught that to be a man was to be a provider. And I spent the last year being supported by my wife. The pressure to provide, the wanting to give her the world and not being able to—that wasn't the easiest thing.
Parris: I don't really worry about finances; I worry about being able to fulfill our dreams. When we come through this—raising children, finishing our professional lives—will my wife and I have the quality of relationship we want to have?
What's your vision for the future?
Ivan: I'd like to see my kids and my grandchild have three values: no lying, no whining, and be good to other people. If they could put that into their daily lives, I'd be real, real proud of them and real proud that I had something to do with that.
Rodrigo: I grew up in a rather strict moral environment, and I wanted to get away from that. Now I realize how important morals and ethics are. My vision is that my wife and I have a similar belief system that underpins and supports what we do.
Jaime: Some guys have more respect for their best friend than for their mate. But my vision is for my girlfriend and me to be extremely communicative, start building that foundation now, and understand that we are going to have disagreements.
René: When I'm on my deathbed, I want to know that I didn't let one second go by without her knowing how much she is in my heart and in my mind.
Richard: We don't think long-term. We've changed so much that we're not the people we were when we got married, but we've maintained the same level of closeness. So we just say, "Okay, we'll take a little bit at a time and enjoy the ride."
Brian: We had a trying first year of marriage, and there was a little breakdown in communication where resentment built up and we weren't talking. If we have a mantra, it's "If we're talking, we're doing okay."
Parris: I'm a pretty spiritual person, so my wife and I just want to make sure that we've been good stewards of God's magnitude.
Esquire editor-in-chief David Granger answers women's frequently asked questions