This is how naiad dyads often end. For instance, when Naomi the echo finally became so unhappy she hired a coach, she began to see herself as worthy of reciprocal friendship. She started drawing boundaries and making small, gentle requests. Her supposed friend, a true narcissist, saw this as a selfish betrayal of their implicit arrangement.

Even if Naomi had kept echoing like an empty cistern, this naiad dyad would probably have ended. Because narcissists don't give love, which is half the equation of a genuine emotional connection, they always become increasingly unhappy over time (remember Narcissus's suicide). Many blame their echoes: "You're not making me happy anymore!" Whether the echo gets better or the narcissist gets worse, the relationship may suddenly and completely fracture, the Krazy Glue bond breaking as quickly and completely as it formed.

Real friendship never does this because it's extremely flexible. Friends take turns performing and receiving "friendship maintenance" tasks, from making phone calls to buying presents. When Riley's tooth broke, she got my immediate attention: I "echoed" her. Then we switched roles, and we discussed my problems. This simple turn-taking is what naiad dyads lack, and it leads to catastrophic failure. Take the quiz  if you suspect that one of your friendships is actually a naiad dyad. If it is, try one of the following fixes.

Let's say your quiz score reveals you're in a rigid friendship where you call all the shots and do none of the work. You might be a narcissist, which probably means you don't care and won't change. My only advice? Avoid daggers.

On the other hand, if you're disturbed by receiving one-sided VIP treatment, you might want to talk to her and explain that her excessive selflessness is troubling, that you need to give as well as receive to feel like her friend. I'm haunted by the fact that I never had this conversation with a college buddy who years later committed suicide. Maybe I could have helped by insisting she learn to receive as well as give. You can't force a confirmed echo out of her role, but it's worth trying.


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