5 Things Sexperts Tell All Their Clients
The importance of a give-and-take relationship, spelling out your fantasies and more.
Can You Expand on That?
"When a woman client says, 'I don't want to have sex, I want to make love,' I say, 'What exactly are you asking for? Eye contact? Foreplay? Being told "I love you"?' So often when couples talk to each other, they're not using behavioral terms—they're saying things like 'I want more excitement.' But each person has a very idiosyncratic understanding of what those words mean, so you have to spell out to your partner what you need and want." —Michele Weiner-Davis, marriage therapist in Boulder, Colorado and author of The Sex-Starved Marriage