Over time, Mackenzie says drugs changed her and her father's perceptions of the world. Society's rules became warped and twisted. "It's sort of the Stockholm Syndrome, where you begin to love your captor," she says. "And I felt great love for my father."

When she was a little girl, Mackenzie says she was the child who tugged at her father's pant leg, trying desperately to get his attention. "It [was] like grasping at smoke," she says. "Add to that deep, visceral yearning for a connection, cover it with heroin, cocaine, alcohol, marijuana, barbiturates—everything you can think of."

Mackenzie says there's no way to justify this time in her life, and inevitably, she'll experience some backlash.

"I was old enough to know better, and, clearly from the way I talk about it in the book, I knew better," she says. "For me to try to make an excuse to justify this portion of my life would be for me to do a disservice to High on Arrival and to the people who have survived this throughout the world. I can't explain this away. It happened, and it's all in there."


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