Preloading

6 New Ideas for Getting Better at Love

Wondering how to keep your love alive? Or why you're so attracted to jerks? A few wise and witty experts tackle some of our toughest relationship questions.
Finding love
Photo: Darren Braun
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Why Haven't I Found My Soul Mate?
To me, a soul mate is someone you feel you've known forever. It's not necessarily your most passionate relationship, or even the person you marry. I don't think there's only one partner for each of us; we can find happiness with a number of different people, and waiting for some ideal match may keep you from seeing what's right in front of you. People don't necessarily know what they really want, anyway. I see this with clients who say, "I want him to be self-confident but not arrogant. Wealthy but not concerned with money. Super-successful but available to spend all his time with me."

So many people say, "I always thought I'd just run into someone—that fate would bring us together." But there have been times when I've met with a client and the very next day, in walked the person that client wound up marrying. Who's to say that's not fate?

Fay Goldman is the founder of Meaningful Connections, a matchmaking service in New York City.
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From the November 2013 issue of O, The Oprah Magazine
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