Is Your Sex Life Normal?
Psychotherapist Rachel Morris, sex journalist Sarah Hedley and general practitioner Sarah Humphery are the sex editors of the UK edition of Cosmopolitan. Dr. Lana Holstein is a sex expert and oversees programs addressing intimacy and sexuality issues at the Miraval resort in Arizona. They have the answers to some very intimate questions.Public Places
Question: My husband and I love to have sex in public places. We've done it in the park, in the car, in a movie theater and even on a moving train. Is it normal to want to have sex in public places?
Part of the attraction to public sex is the risk that's involved, says sex journalist Sarah Hedley. "I think loads of people are doing it. It's only a problem if you're not having sex in the bedroom as well," Hedley says. "So if you're relying on the risk, then you're kind of taking away a bit of the intimacy. So as long as you're doing the full spectrum—not just waiting until you get in that taxi, or on that train—then it's normal."
He Wants More
Question: My wife and I have been married two years. We have sex about once a week. She says I'm not romantic and that she sometimes has sex out of obligation. She also says that if I would help out around the house she'd be more into having sex. But I don't see the relationship between housework and sex. I worry she no longer finds me attractive, and that maybe we were meant to be just friends. Is it normal for me to expect to have sex every day with my wife?
Mismatched sex drive is one of the most common problems with couples, says general practitioner Sarah Humphery. "It's interesting you say that you don't understand how getting more involved in the housework is going to help," Humphery says. "She's going to be less tired, she's going to be preoccupied, she's going to feel less like a sort of housewife—you've got to make her feel sexy." For the woman, Humphery says sometimes, she will have to do it out of obligation. Men—more often than women—are aware of their bodies, whereas women—"we don't have that connection to 'down below'."