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The "No Self-Respecting, Civilized Person Would Sleep That Way" Fight
So many people are getting married after they've taken care of their education or pursued that crazy, totally demanding job. The national average for men is 29, and for women, 27—six years older than 50 years ago. This may mean that each of you is wiser, smarter and more ready to deal with huge life challenges. But it also may mean that one of you likes using a top sheet...while the other thinks that's a waste of time and detergent, and prefers a fitted sheet with just a duvet. Or one of you loves to use bottled dressing...while the other insists on homemade gourmet oil and vinegar. Or one of you just plain refuses to use fabric softener! For no reason! So there! As Don Baucom, a marital therapist and clinical psychologist at the University of North Carolina, says, "Living with someone else can create difficulties. You've been going through life the way you've always done it, but now there are problems because you're faced with someone who's doing things in a way that's healthy for them, but it's not your way." As a couple, you have to decide if you're going to share household responsibilities (and swap methods) or divvy up the chores and just agree that however the job is done by the other person is...a job done.