Excerpt from Book of Love
Once the initial shock is over, discuss what happened openly and honestly. No matter how difficult, it's important to examine why the affair occurred and whether there are underlying problems in your relationship that contributed to it. Take any time that you need to sort out your feelings and decide whether your relationship can heal. Talk to friends and family whom you trust not to take sides to help you to put things into perspective. Spend time with your partner without discussing the affair, doing the things you've always enjoyed, and try to connect as friends and romantic partners again. Finally, be sure that you both agree on mending your relationship and realize that it will take commitment, time, and energy. If you are struggling to come to terms with an affair, seek couples therapy together. It could mean the difference between surviving and splitting, so don't be ashamed to ask for help.
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