How to Deal with an Old Flame

Q: An old boyfriend contacts you out of the blue. You're married. Do you respond or delete the e-mail/voice mail at superhuman speed?

A: "If an old boyfriend making contact is like a gasoline spill, then responding to his call is striking the match. Any response to an old flame should be brief."
— Pastor Rudy Rasmus, St. John's United Methodist Church in Houston

"If he wants to rekindle an old relationship, whether you're happily or unhappily married doesn't make you any less married. You should make that very clear."
— Michele Warholic Wetherald, executive director of the American Association of University Women

"When deciding whether to answer, beware the danger zone of 'mental cheating.' In a recent survey, most people agreed that sending a sexually flirtatious e-mail to a co-worker constitutes cheating."
— Rushworth M. Kidder, founder of the Institute for Global Ethics

"I don't see why you shouldn't have a relationship with an incredibly compatible ex. So many of us partner up in our 30s and 40s, and at that point we have a substantial number of people in our lives…but plan any reunion meetings in public places."
— Anita L. Allen, professor of law and philosophy at the University of Pennsylvania Law School