Q: My husband and I have been together for eight years and married for one year, and just before we got married, it started to seem like he didn't want to have sex as much. We only have sex once or twice a week, and it used to be much more. 

I've tried to come home with lingerie to try to spice things up, and he says, "I'm not really into lingerie." Also, he doesn't like me to initiate sex—he likes to be the one who is in control and chooses when we make love. We are only in our late 20s, and I feel like this is not normal. I don't know how to make our sex life better. What should I do?

— Danielle

A: It would be one thing if I could tell you to spice things up, but he hasn't been receptive to you doing that. This is a big deal if this is the rest of your life, and you are only one year into your marriage. You need to say: "Look honey, I love you, I want to be with you, I love our marriage, I love our life, but I can't see living the rest of my life with this lukewarm sex life with someone who is not into it. So, I want to know if you are really willing to work on it." If you don't address this, it is going to fry the fiber of your relationship.

— Dr. Laura Berman
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