Choosing the Right Man: What Happily Married Women Know
Yvonne and Harold Haskins
Ages: "We're both still working, so let's just say 'mature'"
Years married: 33
Occupations: Attorney, underwriter for Fannie Mae; senior administrator at the University of Pennsylvania
How did you know he was the one? It was a gradual process. I respected him for the work he was doing in the community before I fell in love with him. I was a police officer and he was a youth worker. I got to know his soul and his values and his thought process and how he viewed the world before I ever dated him. Then one summer, I was in the hospital and he brought me the biggest milk shake I'd ever had.
What's made it last? We're still stimulated by each other intellectually, and I still think he's the sexiest man in the world. He's as witty as the devil, and I appreciate that. We've always been partners, and we were always looking at the world and helping in our small way. He has a thousand kids around the world that he's worked with—he's gotten more black kids through the University of Pennsylvania that I can count. You hear the pride when I talk about him. At the same time, I hear from other people that he's proud of me.
Advice? I wish someone had told me in my young life that I didn't have to carry all the weight in my relationship. That was what happened in my failed first marriage. I was a "nobody can do it better than I can" person, but half the time I was wishing someone else would take it away.