Beginner's Guide to Erotica
If aisles of adult videos, sex toy displays and racks of racy undergarments make you want to hide beneath the sheets, take a deep breath and let the experts lead the way.
Kari Kriser and Cheryl Sloane, co-owners of Chicago's G Boutique, reveal the best products for women looking to explore their sensual sides.
Feel sexy, look sexy in well-fitting lingerie. Are you a thong girl? Try a lace thong with a wider back for increased comfort and a little more sexy lace to look at, like Hanky Panky's famous 4811 thong or Cosabella's Never Say Never. Here's a secret...guys love boy shorts. Really, they do. Sometimes it isn't so much sex as the idea of sex that is erotic. Boy shorts should fit snuggly and show a little cheek. Try Foxers' lace boy shorts with a cotton band.
Garter belts are also hot! Wear them clipped to some sheer thigh-highs or hanging loose with bare legs. Nobody can resist a garter belt.
Start small and simple. A Finger Tingler or Laya Spot are discreet toys to use by yourself or together. Feeling a little more adventurous? Best-selling couples' toys include the Pleasure Commander and the We-Vibe. Remember, a toy doesn't replace your lover...it just gives you more options.
We love silicone-based lubes like Swiss Navy, Pjur or Amorist because they have no parabens or biocides and they stay slippery for a lot longer than the water-based ones. Attention multitasking ladies: You can also use your silicone lube on your hair (anti-frizz salon products are made of silicone and alcohol), to waterproof your boots or even unstick the lock on your door!
A word to the wise: Avoid anything with glycerin, because glycerin is sugar and may cause a yeast infection (yuck!). Even the most popular water-based lubes contain glycerin, so stick to the ones that are glycerin-free like Sliquid or Hathor. And we're not big fans of lubes with warming ingredients either...some customers have had allergic reactions. Tip: Rub your hands together, and the lube will warm up anyway.
Yes, there is porn that men and women can enjoy together. Go for something with a little story line and some foreplay to start. Couples' films will have better production values, focus more on full body and face shots, have more sensuality and usually have more attractive performers.
Jenna Jameson's The Masseuse is a great one to start with. A safe bet if you want a lot of story is a Candida Royalle film like The Bridal Shower or Eyes of Desire. Then, there is Tristen Taormino's reality porn, Chemistry Series, a big hit with couples. Taormino locked seven porn stars in a house for a day and a half and filmed the whole thing.
Your first instinct might be to grab some how-to books and get some new ideas. Kim Catrell's Satisfaction or a good Tantra book will give you lots of inspiration.
If you really want to inspire some imaginative thinking about your sex life, try erotic fiction or a truth or dare game. There are lots of erotic, short story anthologies to spark a little bedroom creativity.
Read them out loud to your lover. It can be so stimulating.
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