An Excerpt from Too Close for Comfort? Questioning the Intimacy of Today's New Mother-Daughter Relationship
Based on our personal and professional experience, research, and the wisdom offered by mothers in our focus groups, we have developed some overarching principles to assist you in finding your own answers. These principles include:
- Address your adult daughter in a manner that encourages effective communication and respectful interdependence.
- Becoming an adult is a learning process, and so is developing a positive and nurturing new way of parenting your adult daughter; so give yourself a break.
- Be flexible in determining what is appropriate to meet your child's needs as well as your own.
- Make a decision based on the lessons you would like your adult daughter to learn, not on the results you may want.
- Be open to the choices your adult daughter makes, even when those choices may not be the ones you would make.
- Believe that your adult daughter is okay and can stand on her own, and let her know that.