My openness and willingness to share is not a family trait. It is what I have chosen for myself, in order to claim my spiritual, physical, emotional, financial, and relational health. I was definitely raised not to “air my dirty laundry” in public. But I learned that dirty laundry is not really dirty. It is unacknowledged pain and shame, and denying it was never going to lead to my personal freedom and liberation.

In the process of learning, I also began to understand what it meant to care for myself and to set boundaries. What I owe and what I don’t owe. What I want to share with people and what I don’t. And, when I have done enough and am satisfied with my own efforts, attitudes, and actions, then I have peace. I finally have my own “good enough” barometer and it is working.

The challenge—and invitation—in every moment is to live through our own eyes. To say, “Will the real me please show up and stand up?” There is a quote that says, “When death finds you, may it find you alive.” I have shared this many times as I go around the world speaking, inviting people to step out of their caves of shame and fear, to take a risk on love when aloneness feels much safer, to speak truth to others but begin the journey of speaking it to ourselves first, and to find a safe tribe of people to build a loving community where we can grow, fall down, make mistakes, and have the grace and support to try again. One step at a time is how we make this journey, one question at a time is how we move forward or decide that turning around is a wiser bet. Quieting the outer world so that the inner world can speak to us and give us sight and insight is the place to begin. We can begin this journey right at the place we find ourselves in this moment, in this space, happy or depressed, with money or on the verge of bankruptcy, sick or well . . . we can begin right here and right now, right where we are.

Copyright 2013, Fearless Won, LLC.