Searching for a Member of Your Birth Family.

Searching for Old Friends, Lost Loves, Members of the Military

Where to Start: 6 Steps to Getting Organized

Using a Search Engine 


Go to the first page of Pam Slaton's Search Tips

 

Before you start looking for your birth family, there are a few things to keep in mind...

Be Ready

You must be ready emotionally. When you are searching for someone you must be prepared for every possible outcome. Remember, the person that you are looking for may not be in a place in their lives where they can connect with you. You have to search for closure and answers. Anything else that comes from finding someone should be considered a bonus.

NEXT: Respect is key

Respect

Respect is key. You have to consider that the person that you are searching for may have not shared your existence with other family members and friends. It is so important that you approach the person you are looking for in a confidential and respectful manner. Please never search by calling or writing everyone with the last name of the person that you are looking for and sharing what can be extremely sensitive and confidential information.

NEXT: Educate Yourself

Educate Yourself

You need to know what is legally available to you and what the state laws are for the state that you are searching in. For example, Maine just opened their vital records allowing adoptees to obtain their original birth certificates. Every state has a listing for is legally available to the public concerning vital records.

NEXT: Get Started: Step by Step

How to Get Started

1. Gather any documents that you have and do not rely on recollection of other family members.

So often my clients have information in their possession that they do not realize can be invaluable to help aide in their search. Memory tends to dim over time so it's important to look for all of your documents and try to replace any that have gone missing.

2. Keep a log of things that you have done to find that person whom you are looking for. Organization is key so that you do not spend unnecessary time and money repeating steps that have you already done.

3. Listen to your instincts. When I am searching, I am almost always drawn to a piece of information that helps me to solve a search. We all have an inner voice. Listen to yours!

NEXT: Be Persistent

4. If you do not first succeed, try and try again! Persistence is key. Information is overlooked. Names can be spelled wrong.

5. There are a ton of online Reunion Registries available for free online. The first place you should register is the International Soundex Reunion Registry. Their online registry is safe and secure. They will notify you if they have found a match. There are many registries out there. Place your information on every one that you can find! You never know who is looking for you!

6. Have a Support System. Speak to your family and ask them for their help. Let them know that your search is important to you and ask them for their support and love.

NEXT: Useful Websites