Preloading

Iyanla: "What Happens to You Doesn't Change Who You Are"

Season 4 Episode 413
Aired on 10/07/2017 | CC
Survivors of childhood sexual abuse, like the five men Iyanla is working with, often hold on to an overwhelming sense of shame about what happened to them. For these men, this shame has been carried in silence as they have tried to cope with the pain of the past.

Iyanla explains that "shame is not something anybody can put on you" and offers a perspective intended to help each of the five men reclaim their control. "We shame ourselves even when no one knows that we're ashamed," she says. "Because if nobody knew [what happened], what were you feeling ashamed of? Who you are? ... What happens to you doesn't change who you are. And who you are is who you tell yourself you are."

If you are struggling or need help, visit RAINN's National Sexual Assault Online Hotline or the National Sexual Violence Resource Center's website.

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