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Trauma, Grief & Survival

Iyanla: "I Was Raped by My Uncle"

From Iyanla, Fix My Life
Season 4 | Episode 414
Aired on 10/14/2017 | CC
Children are often taught to respect their elders, so when an adult takes advantage of that trust and sexually abuses a child, the young victim often struggles with his or her role in the abuse. As Iyanla explains to five male survivors of childhood rape, however, nothing about the adult-child dynamic leaves a child responsible.

"When an adult asks you for something, there's a part of you that wants to please the adult because of the relationship, not because you wanted to be violated," she tells them. "And sometimes, in the midst of a sexual violation, we feel ashamed and guilty because we feel complicit because we had a physical response. Who knows what I'm talking about?"

As some of the survivors' hands raise, Iyanla's does as well. "Just like me," she says. "I was raped by my uncle."

If you are struggling or need help, visit RAINN's National Sexual Assault Online Hotline or the National Sexual Violence Resource Center's website.

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Published 10/11/2017
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