Iyanla on What It Really Means to Be a Sister

Season 4 Episode 415
Aired on 05/06/2017 | CC
Sisters often share a special bond, but the relationship among the six sisters working with Iyanla Vanzant is on the brink of collapse. When the women all sit down with Iyanla to talk through the dysfunction that stems from their deep-seated issues with their mother, Iyanla begins by breaking down in detail the bond that exists among "sister-women."

Turning to 35-year-old Shay, Iyanla explains how the eldest sister has a vital role among her siblings. "You set the example for everybody in the line. You see, you're leading all of them. But they're holding you up. Yeah? And your job is to make sure she comes along," Iyanla says, pointing to Kisha, the second-oldest sister.

Going down the line of sisters, Iyanla says each one is responsible for making sure those younger than her "stand in their truth, in their power, in their glory as who they are." This is so crucial, Iyanla says, because when the women's mother is no longer around, they'll only have each other. It's a lesson that Iyanla learned the hard way.

"I'll tell you what I did to my sister. She was older. She used to get on my nerves. So, I stopped speaking to her. Three years...until they called me and told me she was dead," Iyanla says. "I learned then: You don't get a second chance."

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