Iyanla on the Word "Bitch": "That's a Violation"

Season 4 Episode 401
Aired on 09/10/2016 | CC tv-14
Iyanla arrives at the House of Healing after the eight women spend their first night together, and learns some troubling news. A late-night verbal altercation took place, primarily between Alana and Gloria, which was only exacerbated by Alana's heavy drinking that evening. When Iyanla hears about the name-calling that transpired, she has to pause and explain why she considers that behavior a "violation" that won't be tolerated in the house.

The ugliness of the women's words strikes a chord with Iyanla, and she shares a personal experience, hoping that it will have an impact: "See, my grandmother was half black and half Native American, and she scrubbed toilets and cooked people's food for a living. And she was called a lot of names, and she couldn't respond. When they called her a squaw, and a savage, and a bitch, and a Negress, she couldn't respond. She had to clean their toilets, take care of their babies and cook their food so that me and my brother could eat. So when I see us—21st-century women with apartments and cars and degrees—doing that to each other, I have a problem. I have a problem. And maybe if you knew what your grandmother had to do to feed your mama, maybe if you understood that, you'd think twice before you call another woman not her name. What makes me sad is that you just don't know who you are. You really don't."