Preloading

The Real Reason Preccious "Hated" Her Mother

Season 4 Episode 416
Aired on 05/13/2017 | CC tv-pg
After 29-year-old Preccious was adopted by relatives at age 7 months, she spent most of her life struggling with feelings of abandonment related to her birth mother, Alicia. When Preccious, her five sisters and Alicia sit down with Iyanla to address what's at the heart of all their dysfunction, Preccious makes a stunning revelation: She was molested as a child by one of the family members who raised her. It was the same family member, in fact, who raped Alicia decades earlier.

Alicia says she knew that her daughter had been molested, but she had no idea that she and Preccious shared the same abuser—someone Alicia's eldest daughter, Shay, who was unaware of either assault, has considered a friend. Preccious, however, can't fathom how Alicia handed her over to someone she knew to be so dangerous.

"I never understood and I still don't understand why my mother gave me to these people," Preccious says tearfully before turning to her mother. "How could you? How could you give me to this family and you knew what you went through?"

With Iyanla's encouragement, Preccious continues. "It made me hate that you were my mom. It made me hate that, you know, I was even alive," she says. "It made me really just feel like I wish you would've had that abortion with me instead of just giving me to a pack of wolves."

Holding Alicia's hand, Iyanla addresses how remaining quiet about this type of violence perpetuates the suffering for generations. "I don't even have the words to explain or speak to the violence visited against black women by their own family," Iyanla says. "It's historical. It's ancestral. It's generational. And I think the greatest disservice that we do as women is we allow that violence to steal our tongue, and that in our generational pattern to protect our violators, we suffer and visit suffering upon the next generations."

Iyanla's work with this family concludes in Part 3 of the special three-part episode, airing Saturday, May 20, at 9 p.m. ET.

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