Now I knew that my husband either had left or was about to leave our marriage. The man with whom I thought I would spend the rest of my life was communicating to me in a passive-aggressive manner to display the depth and breadth of his rage. I had no clue how to address it. So we did not address it. When I arrived home the next day, I called the contractor and had him come and drain the hot tub. By the time my husband returned, there was fresh hot water bubbling in the tub waiting for us to immerse ourselves. He went to bed. I sat in the tub alone and wept.

Once the album was complete, I embarked on a 16-city tour to promote it. The plan was to debut the album on my first fall appearance on Oprah and begin the tour the next day. In each city, I would be joined by one of the artists who appeared on the album. I would perform the spoken word, they would perform the music. The producers at Harpo, Oprah's production company, wanted the exclusive right to promote the album and announce the tour. I was fine with that until I learned that it meant they did not want me to make my annual appearance on BET with my friend Tavis Smiley.

Tavis and I share the same birthday. Each year, I would appear on his show on our birthday, and we would discuss our plans for the coming year. The producers wanted me to forgo it that year so that my first appearance for the season would be on Oprah's show. Tavis and I discussed it, and we agreed not to talk about the album. I told the producers, but either they were being overly cautious or they didn't believe me. They insisted that I not do the show. Numb as I was, though, I was not quite ready to have people tell me what I could and could not do.

©Iyanla Vanzant 2010. All rights reserved. Reprinted with the permission of SmileyBooks.