Long before the young Eminem penned the lyrics, some part of me knew "You only get one shot, do not miss your chance to blow!" I got my hair and nails done, put on my best suit, and flew to Chicago to seize the opportunity of a lifetime. I was going to be on the show to talk about love and relationships. Lesson number one: Never talk about stuff publicly that will be broadcasted around the world unless you are really clear that you mean what you say. My relationship with God was hit and miss at best. My marriage was on the verge of being a mess. My relationship with myself was a complete disaster, and I was slated to appear on Oprah to talk about things that I was still trying to master.

I was totally numb until I walked through the door of the studio. In that moment, a fleeting thought caught my attention:

She is going to do your show.

What show? I don't have a show.

Then the security officer beckoned me forward and the moment passed.

Everything went beautifully on the set. I connected with Oprah, and I felt that she connected with me. I sat across from her, sharing what I knew to be true about love and relationships, even though I had not mastered it in my own life. Then I left the studio the same way I had entered it: numb.

©Iyanla Vanzant 2010. All rights reserved. Reprinted with the permission of SmileyBooks.