3 Black Men Explain Why They Don't Date Black Women

Season 4 Episode 402
Aired on 09/17/2016 | CC tv-14
After a busy day of revealing exercises and emotional sessions to explore what's really at the heart of their anger, the women of the House of Healing retire indoors to relax before attending a mixer at the house with some surprise guests.

Those guests include four black men who do not date black women. Before everyone gets to mingle, three of the men meet with Iyanla to talk about why they avoid dating within their race. To camera, the men explain themselves with unflinching honesty.

Michael, 46-Year-Old Musician
"Before [black women] even knew me, they said, 'How many kids you got? How many baby mamas you got?' Dating outside my race, I haven't had no issues like that at all."

Koro, 33-Year-Old Teacher
"I've been practicing abstinence for three years—three years with no sex. I'm looking for someone that can respect my views on this, someone that can love me for me."

Bo, 28-Year-Old Business Owner
"I don't date black women now because of past experiences. They like to place that strong personality on you, and sometimes, you just kind of like, you know, 'Stay in a woman's place.'"

Speaking with Iyanla, all three men dig deeper into how these preferences formed. Bo says that he learned from his mother to avoid "angry" women. Michael says his artistry and music have caused black women in his family and neighborhood to think that he's "weird." And Koro says his "God-fearing" ways have been a turnoff for black women he's come across.

After hearing the men's experiences (and, as the above clip shows, challenging some of their notions), Iyanla thanks them for coming to the House of Healing. "Thank you for being a demonstration, because I know there are hundreds of thousands of black men, all ages, who've had these experiences," she says. "And it's my intention for us to heal."

What happened next:
These men (plus a fourth) attend a mixer with the House of Healing women and four white women