A Mother Forgives Herself for Decades of Missteps

Season 4 Episode 417
Aired on 05/20/2017 | CC tv-pg
Alicia's relationship with her six daughters has been strained for nearly two decades. From her childhood rape to her decision to give away her two middle children to her neglect of the girls she did raise, this family of women has experienced layer upon layer of worsening pain and anger with each passing year. After some intense work with Iyanla, however, Alicia and her daughters are beginning to peel back those layers and lean into the healing process.

As a part of this process, Iyanla speaks one-on-one with Alicia about one big key in finding peace: the ability to forgive. More specifically, Alicia must forgive herself, Iyanla asserts, before the family can move forward.

With coaching from Iyanla, Alicia speaks her forgiveness. "[I] forgive myself for not listening when they were, you know, I say 'attacking' me; it was more they were crying out to me," she says of her daughters.

In addition to this powerful acknowledgement, Iyanla suggests another for Alicia to speak aloud. "I would offer you to consider: 'I forgive myself for believing I should have done better when I didn't know how,'" Iyanla says. "Because as long as you think that you should have done better, you'll be guilty."

Want to know what else is coming up on OWN? Sign up for the This Week on OWN Newsletter.