Being in a committed, long-term relationship isn't always easy, especially when you feel pressured to live up to a certain ideal of what it means to be a couple.
Many people have high expectations for their relationship, and this can cause them to feel as though they aren't measuring up or as though there is something wrong with their marriage. Fortunately, many of these expectations are unfounded and a result of watching too many romantic comedies!

Here are the top five relationship misconceptions:

Everyone else is having more sex than us.

People often assume that everyone around them is indulging in wild sexual activity. The truth is that long-term couples have sex once a week, on average. And, as far as marathon sex sessions go, most couples report that they prefer intercourse to last only 7-13 minutes. If you are unhappy with your current sex life, you shouldn't ignore your feelings, but make sure that your unhappiness doesn't stem from unrealistic comparisons. If you have a friend who is constantly raving about her animalistic sex life, remember to take her words with a grain of salt. Additionally, don't get caught up in comparing your sex life to that of friends or neighbors who are newly dating. Everyone has more plentiful sex when they first get together with their partner, but over time, those feelings decrease... which is probably a good thing, otherwise no one would ever get any work done!

Now that I am part of a couple, I need to let go of the "single" me.

People often think that once you become part of a couple, you have to completely ditch the old you. Suddenly, you go from being an "I" to a "We" and you have to run every decision past your partner. While it is nice to be wholly committed to your partner, that doesn't mean you should stop being yourself. You can continue to have your own interests and friendships, even if it means spending some time away from each other. Absence makes the heart grow fonder, but more importantly, it also gives you time to explore yourself and develop your own ideas and thoughts. All of this can go a long way in spicing up your relationship because it will keep interesting and even a little mysterious!
Published 01/31/2011