Dr. Phil McGraw's All-Star Advice
PAGE 5
I'm a single mother of two teenage daughters, and my boyfriend wants to sleep over. Am I sending a bad message if I do that? -Buffy from Cleveland, Ohio
DR. PHIL: Okay, first off, Buffy, the most powerful role model in any child's life is the same sex parent, so that would be you. And in this case you're the only parent that's living with the child, so you're certainly the most powerful role model for these children at this point. So, then I ask myself, okay, role model, you've got teenage girls, which means they've probably hit puberty, so they're probably starting to find different interests in their life, including boys. And so your question is it okay for you to shack up with your boyfriend in the room next door to your kids? Uh, no. Because how are you going to explain to them your decision making when you're asking them to make decisions. Listen, people always say, you know, kids don't listen, they roll their eyes. They may roll their eyes, but they're watching every thing you do, and it will come back to you. Let's see what the audience said.
ROBIN MEADE: Yeah, 73 percent said no, it's not okay for the boyfriend to sleep over.
DR. PHIL: I am stunned. I am stunned that a quarter of this audience thinks it's okay to shack up with your boyfriend next door to your teenage daughters.
DR. OZ: Let me ask you one other question, 'cause I'm a dad so I think about this a little bit. But I've looked at these numbers a little bit, if I understand correctly, probably about 20 percent of kids at some point in their life are exposed to sexual abuse. That's the numbers that I'm looking at. Do you think that's about right?
DR. PHIL: At least.
DR. OZ: All right. So, is it true that it's most likely to happen from a non-relative in the house with them?
DR. PHIL: It's most likely to happen by someone that is known to them. It can be a family member, extended family or it can be a friend. But it's usually someone that is known to them...stranger danger is a small percentage of what really happens in molestation.
ROBIN MEADE: But what you're saying is you're opening up your family to possible abuse because you don't know this person that well?
DR. OZ: Exactly. And they're new in there and the relationship is a sexual one in your home, and there are teenage girl. If it was, you know, infants might be different. But when you have teenage girls in there, all kinds of craziness starts to happen. And that's another word that I had when I heard the question.
Next: We have big arguments over little things all the time and they don't seem to stop. How do we stop "paper cutting" each other?
DR. PHIL: Okay, first off, Buffy, the most powerful role model in any child's life is the same sex parent, so that would be you. And in this case you're the only parent that's living with the child, so you're certainly the most powerful role model for these children at this point. So, then I ask myself, okay, role model, you've got teenage girls, which means they've probably hit puberty, so they're probably starting to find different interests in their life, including boys. And so your question is it okay for you to shack up with your boyfriend in the room next door to your kids? Uh, no. Because how are you going to explain to them your decision making when you're asking them to make decisions. Listen, people always say, you know, kids don't listen, they roll their eyes. They may roll their eyes, but they're watching every thing you do, and it will come back to you. Let's see what the audience said.
ROBIN MEADE: Yeah, 73 percent said no, it's not okay for the boyfriend to sleep over.
DR. PHIL: I am stunned. I am stunned that a quarter of this audience thinks it's okay to shack up with your boyfriend next door to your teenage daughters.
DR. OZ: Let me ask you one other question, 'cause I'm a dad so I think about this a little bit. But I've looked at these numbers a little bit, if I understand correctly, probably about 20 percent of kids at some point in their life are exposed to sexual abuse. That's the numbers that I'm looking at. Do you think that's about right?
DR. PHIL: At least.
DR. OZ: All right. So, is it true that it's most likely to happen from a non-relative in the house with them?
DR. PHIL: It's most likely to happen by someone that is known to them. It can be a family member, extended family or it can be a friend. But it's usually someone that is known to them...stranger danger is a small percentage of what really happens in molestation.
ROBIN MEADE: But what you're saying is you're opening up your family to possible abuse because you don't know this person that well?
DR. OZ: Exactly. And they're new in there and the relationship is a sexual one in your home, and there are teenage girl. If it was, you know, infants might be different. But when you have teenage girls in there, all kinds of craziness starts to happen. And that's another word that I had when I heard the question.
Next: We have big arguments over little things all the time and they don't seem to stop. How do we stop "paper cutting" each other?
