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My twin sister borrowed $4,000 from me and now says she can't pay it back. She lost her job 18 months ago. I know times are tough, but I see her getting her nails done every week, and she just took her kids on a vacation to Florida. Do I have a right to be angry? What do I say to her?
— Anonymous, via The Huffington Post

Suze: You have a right to be angry at her, but in my opinion, you should actually be angrier at yourself. Just don't go telling me this is the first time that you've seen your sister be irresponsible with money. So, you gave it to her. You thought you lent it to her.

When you are giving somebody money, you are giving it to them. Don't think you are lending it to them. You need to ask yourself: Can I afford it? If you can't, because they can't pay you back, what are you going to do?

What I would do if I were you, by the way, is get your sister to pay you back $75 a month, every month, for the next four years. That's with 4 percent interest. Then you will have a better relationship.

Remember, there's no such thing as lending money. You are giving it or you are not.

More from Suze:
5 things to consider before you lend

Next: Suze's Action Plan

Published 01/03/2011