Victoria Provided This Update:
Prior to the webcast, my aha! moment, I never realized that I had unconsciously been "clinging" to my illness because it had become the most important part of who I perceived myself to be. In Chapter 3 of Eckhart Tolle's book A New Earth: Awakening to Your Life's Purpose, he writes about the core of ego. It goes into the ego's favorite strategies, which strengthens the ego, such as complaining, resentment and all the negative acts and emotions. I realized that in order to change from negative thinking, I had to be totally honest with myself. Tolle states in "Beyond Ego: Your True Identity," pages 77 to 78, "Only Presence can free you of the ego, and you can only be present Now, not yesterday or tomorrow." This was a powerful awakening for me, and I try to be present Now. When you accept that you actually enter a state of peace and clarity, that is closer to who you truly are than thoughts ever could be.
I live in chronic pain because I refuse to take the drugs recommended, so I make use of alternative medicine and maintain a natural and proper diet, but the pain has its good days and bad days. What I had to do when I felt a negative emotion coming on (pain in my body) was to refuse to think something was wrong—the ego LOVES that, but in turn, I accepted the pain. By accepting the pain-body, you allow yourself to feel whatever you want to feel in that moment.
In the last five years, I have written poetry and painted. This is a form of release for me, helping me let go of inner emotions. It helps me to see the beauty of what is around me now. It has become the main focus of the Now. I have also shared this with others, but most of the time, people just look at me and say I look at peace, or they chuckle, and a lot want to hug me. Your positive energy can radiate from your being...and I could be having a day from hell with my pain.
