Joan says she misses the man she married.

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Although Joan and Sydney are still married, Joan says she misses the man she fell in love with. "You know, once Sydney transitioned, that was it. My husband never came back. It makes me sad. It still does," Joan says. "It's not that my husband's left. My husband's still here. It is a really weird thing. You can't really close a chapter and move on. It's the same story. ... The character hasn't changed. But how they look and how the act and how they sound is really different."

Joan says she once had thoughts of leaving Sydney—but not because of the cross-dressing. "It was because of the lack of truthfulness," she says.

Over time, Joan says she finally got past the betrayal. "I think enough time has passed where I can certainly understand the reasons behind it and I think I can look at it with more compassion."