Dr. Robin Smith says Roz should realize that it is okay to forgive herself. "Your fear is that if you pardon yourself, you're saying that you're not still grieving, you're getting a get-out-of-jail-free card. See, there is no get-out-of-jail-free card," Dr. Robin says. "There's this piece of you that has kind of hunkered down and said, 'I'm going to be loyal to my grandson, and the way I'm going to show my loyalty is I'm going to suffer and punish myself for the rest of my life.'"
Roz continuing to punish herself does not honor Jackson or the rest of the family, she says, but remembering and grieving will. "What you did is you happened to be caught doing what we all do—being absorbed in the moment, stressed out about a situation," Dr. Robin says. "To forgive yourself would be to say that you did something wrong. What happened is your humanity, and how fragile each moment is and that we have almost no control. Can we learn something? Absolutely. Will you save lives because you're here today? Absolutely."
But in addition to reminding drivers to be careful around children, Dr. Robin says Roz can teach another lesson. "If you can begin to teach that you're not going to stay frozen in this self-punishment, that would be equally as great a gift even for your children to know that ... when life knocks you down, that you can somehow recover," Dr. Robin says. "That gift is the gift that we all need."
