Jerry and Tom say issues like a burgeoning tortoise collection should be dealt with before getting married. "When you get married, you think you are marrying this person," Tom says. "But that's not it. You're marrying in-laws. You're marrying weird uncles. You're marrying the new paperboy. [You're marrying] turtle guy and all of his little turtle friends. Marriage is a big, sloppy mess, and this is your sloppy mess."

That said, Tom says the home Teri and Jim have set up includes the tortoises, for better or worse. "As bizarre as it is, you have created a family, which includes the two of you and these creatures, and you can't break up the family."

Jerry disagrees. "You have to have a face to be a pet," he says. "You have to have a face that makes an expression, or you can't be a pet!"


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