As an approval addict, Sarah says one of the hardest things to do is ask the question: What do I want? To find out, Sarah says she relies on a simple technique. "When an email comes in, or when the telephone rings or somebody wants you, take a moment, sit very quietly, even if it's in the bathroom, and just connect honestly." she says. "Go inside and connect and say, 'Okay, is that self-hatred talking? Is that trying-to-please talking? Who is that talking? ... What do you feel, Sarah?' And once you get there, even if it's for five seconds, then you're ready."
Sarah says if she could talk to her just-married self, she would have some important advice to share. "Sarah, do you have any idea of who you are? You don't know who you are. You had it all. You had the most wonderful man. You could have done it," she says. "And I'd say to her, 'You're such a great person—but know it. Don't wait 25 years to know it.'"