Men and women have different issues with owning their sexuality. For men, it is denying the significance of sex and not seeing the sacredness in the act. For women, it is more often ignorance and shame, not giving themselves permission to know what they need and then matching it with their behavior. In a conversation about your sexual expectations and fears, be sure to respect each other's boundaries. Your goal in asking these questions is not to pry into every detail of sexual history, but to open a conversation about the most intimate aspect of your relationship.
- What sexual activities do you enjoy most? Are there specific sexual acts that make you uncomfortable? Be specific!
- Do you feel comfortable initiating sex? If yes, why? If no, why?
- What do you need in order to be in the mood for sex?
- How often do you need or expect sex?
- Is sexual fidelity an absolute necessity in a good marriage?
Excerpted from Lies at the Altar
by Dr. Robin L. Smith. Copyright © 2006 Dr. Robin L. Smith. All rights reserved. Published by Hyperion. Available wherever books are sold.