I wore my shades, because I hated everybody. I wouldn't talk to the nurses, because I hated everybody. I fell asleep without unpacking or even getting under the covers, because I hated everybody. I didn't want to hear anything they had to say. When I woke up in the morning, I had sobered up, so my attitude was even worse. I was furious that I was still in rehab. I should have felt lucky that I wasn't coming to in a jail cell at that very moment. But I was too mad to be grateful.

A nurse came in and smiled at me.

"You've got to go to a meeting," she said.

"I'm not going to no meeting," I said. "Screw you."

All of my anger erupted then. It was like when I was in school and a bully pushed me too far, and I started releasing this pure rage built up from everything bad that had happened to me in my home life. There was no stopping me until I let it all out of me. I stormed into the bathroom, ripped the shower rod down from the wall, and held it up like a weapon as I ran back into my bedroom.

"Come on!" I shouted. "Any of you guys come in here, I'm going to hit you all with this shower rod."

I didn't care how many staff members they sent in after me. The anger had a hold on me, and I was going to fight them all.

I heard them sound some sort of alarm out in the hall.

I stood there with my shower rod in the air, wondering what was going on.

"I don't care," I thought. "What are they going to do? Send all of their guys in here? Let them. I'm going to beat the crap out of all their guys. Come on!"

Excerpted from Killing Willis: From Diff'rent Strokes to the Mean Streets to the Life I Always Wanted by Todd Bridges with Sarah Tomlinson. Copyright ?? 2010 by Touchstone. Reprinted by permission of Touchstone, a division of Simon & Schuster, Inc., New York. All rights reserved. No part of this excerpt may be reproduced or reprinted without permission in writing from the publisher.


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