It's highly unusual for someone awaiting trial to appear on The Oprah Show
, but Barbara says she has a message she wants to get out. "It should be known that people need to get out of relationships immediately when something [violent] starts," she says. "Controlling is the first sign of someone that is an abuser. ... If you can't take your children to the park without him driving by to make sure that's where you are, that's the time to get out."
Barbara's abuse lasted for 16 or 17 years, she says. "He was just very controlling at the beginning. I couldn't go to the store without showing him cash register receipts, so he saw what time I went to the store, what time I checked out," she says. "My spirit was just shot."