30-Year-Old Virgins
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Shayla says she wants to have sex, but her fear of relationships is holding her back. "I shut men out a lot, but they don't know it. I'm very slick with it," she says. "When they start calling more and want to see me more, [I tell them]: 'Oh, I'm busy. Busy, busy, busy.'"
Dr. Berman discovered that Shayla's intimacy issues began when she was 13 and her mother suddenly died. The two had an extremely close relationship, but Shayla's mother never told her that she had lung cancer. So when she passed away, Shayla says she felt hurt and betrayed that she never got to say goodbye. After a few months of grieving, she says she was "blindsided" when her father started to bring other women around.
Shayla: It made me sick because I thought, "Damn, 20 years of a great marriage that my parents had, and in three or four months, my mother's replaceable?
Dr. Berman: So were you mad at him for replacing her?
Shayla: Oh, mad? There isn't a word for what I felt. Absolutely. I felt like it was a betrayal, because he would express to me he's still in love with my mom but he needs somebody to have sex with him.
Dr. Berman: How old were you when he's saying this to you?
Shayla: Thirteen or 14. He needs somebody to have sex with him. He needs somebody to fill that companionship role. ... And as much as that hurts [me], that is not going to prevent him from doing it.
Dr. Berman: So your dad, who was your best buddy, this great dad, the ideal father, if he can betray your mom, and they had the perfect relationship, what can I count on?
Shayla: Me. That's it.
Dr. Berman discovered that Shayla's intimacy issues began when she was 13 and her mother suddenly died. The two had an extremely close relationship, but Shayla's mother never told her that she had lung cancer. So when she passed away, Shayla says she felt hurt and betrayed that she never got to say goodbye. After a few months of grieving, she says she was "blindsided" when her father started to bring other women around.
Shayla: It made me sick because I thought, "Damn, 20 years of a great marriage that my parents had, and in three or four months, my mother's replaceable?
Dr. Berman: So were you mad at him for replacing her?
Shayla: Oh, mad? There isn't a word for what I felt. Absolutely. I felt like it was a betrayal, because he would express to me he's still in love with my mom but he needs somebody to have sex with him.
Dr. Berman: How old were you when he's saying this to you?
Shayla: Thirteen or 14. He needs somebody to have sex with him. He needs somebody to fill that companionship role. ... And as much as that hurts [me], that is not going to prevent him from doing it.
Dr. Berman: So your dad, who was your best buddy, this great dad, the ideal father, if he can betray your mom, and they had the perfect relationship, what can I count on?
Shayla: Me. That's it.
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