Seven Signs You're In A Verbally Abusive Relationship

A checklist from the book that woke up Brandy:
  1. He seems irritated or angry with you several times a week. When you ask why he's mad, he either denies it or tells you it's in some way your fault.

  2. When you feel hurt and try to talk with him, the issues never get resolved. He might refuse to discuss your upset feelings by saying "You're just trying to start an argument!" or claiming he has no idea what you're talking about.

  3. You frequently feel frustrated because you can't get him to understand your intentions.

  4. You're upset—not so much about concrete issues like how much time to spend together, but about communication: what he thinks you said and what you heard him say.

  5. You sometimes think, "What's wrong with me? I shouldn't feel so bad."

  6. He seems to take the opposite view from you on almost everything, and his opinion isn't stated as "I think," but as if you're wrong and he's right.

  7. You can't recall saying "Cut it out!" or "Stop it!"

Adapted from The Verbally Abusive Relationship © 1992, 1996 by Patricia Evans. Printed with permission from Adams Media.

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