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Rule #4: Check in with each other

You and your partner must agree to test each other's messages and respond honestly. No more b.s. Ask your partner, "Is what you're saying really the way you feel? Is that true?" Remember that when you ask the question, you have to be ready to hear the true answer. And you've got to be willing to take the same test yourself. If asked, "So you're really okay?" have the guts to say, "No, I'm not," when you're really not. Ask your partner the questions that will confirm his or her feelings.
From the March 2003 issue of O, The Oprah Magazine
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