Rules for Talking and Listening
A one-way communicator talks but never listens and pays no attention to whether the listener appears to be "getting it." For her it's all about the telling, as in, "What I want you to do is go out there, get this work done, give these people this message, put those kids to bed, and come back in here." If that's how you communicate, all you know is what you've said, and you haven't got a clue about what the other person heard. Result: conflict.
But as soon as a one-way communicator asks for feedback, look what happens:
She: "Here's what I'd like you to do: A, B, C, and D. Does that sound okay to you?"
He: "Well, L, Q, R, and P don't make a whole lot of sense to me."
No wonder they're not getting along—they're not even talking about the same thing! When she checks to make sure that he has received the message, she uncovers a communication glitch. By soliciting feedback—by giving as much weight to what is heard as to what is said—you put a spotlight on the issues you, together, need to clarify.