Oprah Talks to Christine McFadden
Oprah: Didn't you refinance your house to contribute to the foundation?
Christine: Yes! I'm laughing because I'm down to the last $10,000 I can borrow.
Oprah: It's clear that you've turned a corner. How would you describe your life now?
Christine: I'm happily married. I'm thrilled to have these two babies, to live again. I'd like to work part-time again in my veterinary clinic. I still love the animals.
Oprah: This issue of the magazine is about faith. Did faith play any role in your being where you are today?
Christine: I've had a lot of battles there. In the simplest terms, I'm still so very angry.
Oprah: With God?
Christine: With God. I miss what I felt was my relationship with God. My husband talks about the idea of a personal God being there just for you—that's what I used to think I had. Is that bad theology? Don't most people think God is there for them? But 9/11, for instance—do you think that the people who lived were the only people who believed in God? What about the people who died? Why did they have to die?
Oprah: So you still have more questions than answers. Will you ever find peace?
Christine: I don't know. I'm still searching. I have friends of many different faiths, and so many of them have tried to give me encouragement. I appreciate all the prayers and thoughts. I welcome them. I'm more accepting now of all different faiths. But it's as if God still speaks to others but doesn't to me. That may not be the correct thinking, but I've seen my children with their brains blown out. And they all had Bibles. Stan's was in the bed stand. Melanie's was on a little table. Stuart's was at the end of his bed the morning he was murdered.
Oprah: Do you have hope?
Christine: Yes. Yes, I do.
Oprah: After the tragedy, did you have faith that you'd one day be able to have more children?
Christine: Initially, I wanted to have more kids because I wanted my other kids back. Crazy thinking.