Oprah Talks to Christine McFadden

Oprah: But you've gotten past that? You're not expecting these twins to be replacements for the other four?

Christine: I'm trying real hard. I'm trying to be conscious of all those things.

Oprah: And yet how do you that? It must be hard not to think of your other four children every time you change a diaper.

Christine: I don't. But reading them stories—people gave us books at the baby shower—Goodnight Moon, Love You Forever...

Oprah: Love You Forever is my favorite children's book.

Christine: I put it away. That one I can't read. You know: "I'll love you forever, I'll like you for always, as long as I'm living..."

Oprah: "...my baby you'll be."

Christine: "My baby you'll be." I'm not even going to try with that one.

Oprah: Did you think you would find the courage to love again?

Christine: I wasn't looking for it. It just happened. It took a lot of time.

Oprah: I marvel at the kind of man your husband must be to handle all of this. How would you describe him?

Christine: He's wonderful. Affectionate. Quiet. Thoughtful. And gentle.

Oprah: Thank you for your generosity in sharing your story again. The reason I keep coming back is that I so admire your strength.

Christine: I attribute that strength to the children I lost. Melanie, Stanley, Stuart, and Michelle were the best things that ever happened to me. Even in their short lives, they exceeded any hopes I could have had for them. Yes, I know I have to go forward now. By marrying and bringing these two girls into the world, that's what I'm choosing to do.

Oprah: Do you feel like you've awakened from hell?

Christine: No, it's been more gradual than that. And even now I still feel like hell is only a step away. But I choose not to step into it.