Oprah: Beside?

Camille: Beside. It's kind of hazy, in a way. Bill and I thought it was important to show up at some point, but we didn't want to be there each day, because the trial would have been about us.

Oprah: A circus.

Camille: A circus. We wanted the focus to be on what it was supposed to be on. But we didn't want the jury to think that we weren't concerned, so we decided to show up, but at the end. Although my son was killed—our son was killed—I don't believe in capital punishment. We asked for life. I really had to struggle. I had to say, "Our son was shot by this man. Should it be an eye for an eye?" And I couldn't say in my conscience that I wanted to be responsible for the death of someone else, despite what he had done to our son. But life in prison—I would not have settled for anything less than that.

Oprah: Wasn't it the tipster—a person who had been with the killer shortly after the shooting—who led the police to the murderer?

Camille: It was. The tipster led the police to a hat containing a strand of hair that the DNA test proved to be from the murderer.

Oprah: Has the killer ever tried to contact you in any way to apologize?

Camille: Never. I prefer he doesn't.

Oprah: Was there relief when the killer was caught?

Camille: A lot of relief. But then there was the reality of just dealing with one another, seeing each other's pain. Parents never think they will survive their children, unless a child is ill. But I know now that anything is possible. You cannot take life for granted; you cannot take your loved ones for granted. And when something like this happens, you have to allow yourself to live through the pain of it. It is the only way that you can heal.

I jumped into work. I jumped into a movie I was producing with my partner, Judy James, Having Our Say.... On each anniversary of Ennis's death, I was always working. This past January was the first time I didn't do that. I'd started back in June. I'd said, "Now I am going to take this time for myself." I did not work for six months. I didn't do anything except walk around, be introspective, look at the sky and whatever. You have to live through the pain before you can become comfortable dealing with the memory of the person you lost.

Oprah: Were you afraid to live in that pain because it was so horrible?

Camille: I was afraid. I was afraid to really deal with it. But I did. And I'm glad that I did. I'm stronger because of it.


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