Oprah: How so?

Camille: In a deeper, more meaningful way. We learned to not rush through things as we talk to one another. To say what we really mean. To spend more time with one another. To show our appreciation for one another. Not to just rush through a day and take it for granted that a person will be around, because that might not be true. Our daughters, who were just doing their youthful stuff, grew up. And each of them said, "Okay, I have to make changes within myself."

Oprah: The world watched Bill return to work after a couple of weeks. Did you feel any resentment?

Camille: No. I understood that perfectly, because that was his way to cope with his grief. I also opened my mind to the fact that we all had to deal with it in our own way. I even gave space to our daughters to do that. I said, "To find your way to deal with-this, you have my support, but I'm not going to project myself onto you."

Oprah: What were you doing with yourself, Camille? Because there were reports that you were sedated. When I read that, I said, "I would have to be sedated."

Camille: No, I was not sedated. I have taken a holistic approach to life for many years, and I have never been sedated. So that was a lie, which I responded to. I was very disturbed with the media, too, because they were saying all kinds of untrue things and sensationalizing their reports.

Oprah: And using you. That's what disturbed me. I thought, "This was her son, too."

Camille: Yes, yes. Thank you for that.

Oprah: The media made it "Bill Cosby's son."

Camille: That's right. But more than the nonsense about me, I was disturbed that the media did not report that the killer had a history of racial prejudice. Before killing Ennis, he was in a juvenile center for stabbing a black man he didn't know. Then he was released, and a short time after that, he killed our son, Ennis. And he used the word nigger several times, which came out in the testimony before the grand jury and the jury. And many [members of the] media refused to print the word nigger; they substituted that word with black and African-American, because that sanitized the whole thing.

Oprah: You and the family didn't go to the trial until the verdict. Did you want to see the killer?

Camille: No.

Oprah: Did you ever want to confront him?

Camille: Even when I was there and I looked at him, his face was just not defined for me. Even now, I have a hard time bringing his face into my memory. I sat beside one of his relatives.


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