Dr. Phil: The Love Survey
At first glance, it appears that our respondents take fidelity very seriously—an astounding 92 percent say they wouldn't be unfaithful even if their partner would never find out. But 41 percent say they have cheated on someone. The discrepancy has to do with the fact that people don't plan to be unfaithful. It's only after they get into a relationship and their needs aren't being met—they don't feel accepted—that they search to fill the void. Most people who have affairs are living an emotional divorce and just haven't filled out the paperwork yet. They become desperate, bitter, and liable to make a serious mistake.
Sex by the Numbers
Those of you who are having sex (more than four-fifths do at least once a month) give it a high rating (75 percent say totally fulfilling or mostly satisfying). I don't know about you, but I think that number is pretty darn good.
The jury's out on the question of love's longevity: A slim majority (56 percent) say that true love can die, but a significant 44 percent disagree. More conclusively, 94 percent say that the fading of sexual desire does not mean love is over. Listen, people change, and their needs change (perhaps that explains your lack of interest in reconnecting with your first love—68 percent would choose not to, if given the chance). The jury may be out, but if I'm the judge, I'd rule that absolutely, love can die. Planting the seeds of true love is one thing. But if you don't tend the garden, it will soon be consumed by weeds.
Prescription for a Flickering Flame
Almost two-thirds of those surveyed say if their partner is insensitive, it's because he doesn't know their needs. Well, then tell him what you need! Hit the eject button on the belief that "if I have to tell you, then it doesn't count." That's not true. Considerate behavior can still come from the heart, even though it may not have been your partner's idea. Give the old boy a chance. Get involved and ask for what you want. Be willing to seduce your mate, and be willing to be seduced again. What better time to start than Valentine's Day?