flawd

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What You Want: To stop thinking of yourself as the "bad one in the family," or "the good one" or whatever label was assigned to you at age three.

What to Try: For bullying activist Emily-Anne Rigal—the founder of WeStopHate.org and co-author of Flawd: How to Stop Hating on Yourself, Others, and the Things That Make You Who You Are —the process of figuring out who we are begins with a series of questions that recognizes our many identities—and labels. Take out a pen and answer the following: Who am I first thing in the morning? What's my personality when I'm with friends? Family? In the workspace? "Different aspects of our personality come out at different times depending on who we're with, what we're doing, how much sugar we ate an hour ago," Rigal writes. Answer a few more questions: Who would I be if I was a cartoon character? If I was an animal? Who am I when I'm happy and engaged and doing something I love? Looking over your responses may just lead to this unexpected breakthrough: Though you may contain multitudes, not one of them defines you. Your job—and privilege—is to pick the one, or several, that best fit and discard those assigned to you by others.