Dear Lisa,
My husband refuses to eat onions and garlic. Do you have any idea how hard it is to cook without onions or garlic?
—Life in the Bland Lane

Oh, Sweetie,
Help me help you. If you'd begun your letter this way: "The only thing that distracts my husband from his incredibly disturbing rubber fetish is the need to feed his ongoing crack addiction using the money he's plundered from our joint savings account. And Lisa, as if that weren't horrific enough, the man refuses to eat onions or garlic!"—why, then I'd have something to work with. But as it stands, I'm thinking you've got yourself a picky eater with minty-fresh breath.

In marriage you've got to choose your battles—and having to put aside a batch of whatever you're cooking, minus the garlic and onions, or tell your husband he's responsible for his own meals on nights when you decide to spice things up, should not be anybody's Alamo.

Lisa Kogan is O's writer at large and the author of Someone Will Be with You Shortly: Notes from a Perfectly Imperfect Life. To ask Lisa a question, email


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