4 Prayers for Your Roughest Times
Life coach Iyanla Vanzant, host of OWN's Iyanla: Fix My Life, unpacks how we process negative feelings, and offers a meditation that can help undo the damage.
Photo: JGI/Jamie Grill/Getty Images
1. Betrayal
How it feels: Someone you trusted and cared about threw you under the bus and then backed up over you. Someone did or said something he/she promised not to do. Someone exposed your weaknesses, shortcomings or private personal matters to get what he/she needed or wanted or, perhaps, just because he/she could.
How you talk to yourself about it: He/She/They lied to me. He/She/They always misrepresent things. He/She/They deceived me. I trusted them, and they exploited me.
A prayer to release it: Just now, Dear Lord, I confess feeling betrayed by people, circumstances and situations. I confess that I have betrayed myself at times. I confess the need to understand certain people and things. I confess the feeling of betrayal when people demonstrate they are not who or what I want or need them to be. I confess the need to understand why things happen the way they happen. I confess, Dear Lord, that there have been times when I believed that You had betrayed me. Just now, in this moment and for all time, I surrender every thought, belief, behavior, understanding, learning or attachment to the experience of betrayal. I surrender feeling betrayed, being betrayed and looking for signs or evidence of having been betrayed.
I choose to shift my focus from people and things, and direct my focus on who You are within me, who You are to me and who You are for me. In Your presence, all betrayal is brought to naught and nothingness. With Your presence, betrayal has no power in my mind, my heart or my life. As the presence of You in human form, betrayal has no power within me or over me. I choose to focus my attention on Who protects me, Who guides me and Who loves me. I now declare that, as I shift my focus, all sorrow and suffering is lifted from my heart. As I focus my attention on trusting You, I know that everything is in Divine Order. I know that all seeds and roots of betrayal are eliminated from my life. Thank You, God, for receiving this prayer. Thank You for the healing that is now an aspect of every fiber of my being. Thank You for healing in my life and in all my affairs. I am grateful for the healing in this moment and all moments to come. I rest in Thee. I let it be! And so it is!
2. Abandonment
How it feels: Everybody you care about has left or leaves you. People who were responsible for you, or to you, chose to walk away, often with no explanation. Something or someone was more important than you, so you got left behind. Anyone who was supposed to be there for you wasn't there. People you stood with, and for, were not there for you when you needed them. While abandonment is about people not being able to be there for you, rejection is an expression of not even being wanted.
How you talk to yourself about it: People are never/No one is ever there for me. He/She/They deserted me. He/She/They left me when I needed him/her/them the most. I got dumped.
A prayer to release it: I acknowledge You, God, as my ever-present Source of life and love. I acknowledge Your presence within me. With You and in You, I know I am never alone. I ask to feel Your love flowing into and through me in this moment. I ask for and open myself to be healed from all thoughts, feelings, beliefs and behaviors related to abandonment. I ask that every memory, fear and expectation of abandonment be cleansed and released from my mind, my heart and my soul. Acknowledging You as my constant friend and companion, I ask that every person whom I believe has ever abandoned me be surrounded and blessed by the pure light of Your presence in my mind.
I ask that any hurt and all wounds caused by the experiences I have named "abandonment" be filled with the presence of Your love so that they will be healed. Remind me, God, that You love me. Allow me to remember that You are always with me. Fill the empty places in my mind and heart with the fullness of Your grace so that I will know how to and when to let go. I now proclaim my total and complete healing. I call forth situations and circumstances that allow me to know and feel love. I am deeply and profoundly grateful for the power and grace of love present within me and for me. I release the power of these words, knowing that as I let go and let God, it is done. And so it is! Amen.
3. Grief
How it feels: All the wind has been sucked out of you. You feel depleted and doomed. You no longer have the desire or strength to keep going. You and/or your life no longer have a sense of meaning and purpose.
How you talk to yourself about it: Nothing matters to me anymore. I just can't...nothing can make me feel better. I just want to die. Just leave me alone. I'll never feel love/joy/peace again.
A prayer to release it: Blessed and Divine Holy Spirit, today, in this moment, I ask to be freed from the weight of grief. Today, in this moment, I ask to be lifted from the pit of sorrow. Today, in this moment, I surrender all attachment to loss. I confess to feeling heavy in my soul. I confess to having darkness in my mind. I confess to holding sorrow in my heart. I confess that I don't understand what has happened and why it has happened. I confess that I am holding thoughts and beliefs that block, deny and obstruct my experience and expression of joy.
Today, in this moment, knowing that You will respond, I ask for and open myself to receive the fullness of Your healing presence. Today, I ask for, accept and allow myself to receive Your love. Today, I ask for, accept and allow myself to receive the presence of Your light. Today, I accept Your will, and I surrender all questions about and resistance to why or how things happen. I ask for, accept and allow myself to receive all the goodness that You have prepared for me. I ask for, accept and allow Your love and light to flow to me and through me, ending all sorrow, suffering and grief. I declare that all is well within me and for me. Faithfully, I come into Your presence, knowing peace is my only option. For this, I am so grateful. And so it is!
4. Shame
How it feels: You feel like you want to, or need to, hide. You feel bad about yourself due to guilt over shortcomings, bad behavior or wrongdoing. You feel discredited because you have failed to meet your own standards of behavior or personhood. While guilt is public and external, shame is private and internal. Shame is the feeling that there's something deeply and profoundly wrong with you. Shame is rooted in the belief that you have not only failed to be or do your best but also brought dishonor upon yourself.
How you talk to yourself about: What did I do now? Why is everything my fault? It's always my fault. I must have done something wrong. Only bad people do things like this. If anyone found out, I'd feel terrible. Why did I/didn't I do that? I just can't help it. It's so embarrassing. I don't know why I can't/don't always ____. Why can't/don't I ever _____? Why do I always _____?
A prayer to release it: Praise You, God, as My Father, My Mother, My Friend. I acknowledge that I am one with You. I acknowledge that You are my wisdom and my peace. I thank You for Your grace and mercy in every area of my life. Breathe life into me, Father, so that the light of You will shine through me and eliminate all shame. I now lift to You the broken places in my mind so that they might be healed of shame. I now lift to You the broken places in my heart so that they might be healed of shame. I now lift to You every mistaken thought—past and present—that has distorted how I see myself and filled me with shame. I now lift to You every feeling I have held—past and present—that has polluted my heart with shame. Light my heart with joy and fill my spirit with peace so that I will never again feel ashamed. Give me total and complete acceptance of who I am on the inside, and let my acceptance of myself light up the world all around me.
I now reclaim the truth of my being in You. I now re-establish the power of my being in You. I am so grateful that You know and accept me just as I am. I ask to be restored to the fullness of my identity in You. I now open myself for an outpouring of Your loving light and guidance. Your spirit indwells me. Your truth infills me. Your love sustains me. Your presence within me reminds me that I am totally and completely acceptable to You. I declare there is nothing shameful about me. Knowing that You are with me in all things and through all circumstances, I simply desire to demonstrate more of You as me. Thank You, God, for reminding me who I am. Thank You, God, for teaching me to accept who I am. For this renewal and for the healing it brings, I am so grateful. I let it be! And so it is!
Iyanlza Vanzant is an acclaimed spiritual coach and the host of Iyanla: Fix My Life on the Oprah Winfrey Network. This adapted excerpt was taken from Get Over It!: Prayers and Affirmations for Healing the Hard Stuff, by Iyanla Vanzant.
How it feels: Someone you trusted and cared about threw you under the bus and then backed up over you. Someone did or said something he/she promised not to do. Someone exposed your weaknesses, shortcomings or private personal matters to get what he/she needed or wanted or, perhaps, just because he/she could.
How you talk to yourself about it: He/She/They lied to me. He/She/They always misrepresent things. He/She/They deceived me. I trusted them, and they exploited me.
A prayer to release it: Just now, Dear Lord, I confess feeling betrayed by people, circumstances and situations. I confess that I have betrayed myself at times. I confess the need to understand certain people and things. I confess the feeling of betrayal when people demonstrate they are not who or what I want or need them to be. I confess the need to understand why things happen the way they happen. I confess, Dear Lord, that there have been times when I believed that You had betrayed me. Just now, in this moment and for all time, I surrender every thought, belief, behavior, understanding, learning or attachment to the experience of betrayal. I surrender feeling betrayed, being betrayed and looking for signs or evidence of having been betrayed.
I choose to shift my focus from people and things, and direct my focus on who You are within me, who You are to me and who You are for me. In Your presence, all betrayal is brought to naught and nothingness. With Your presence, betrayal has no power in my mind, my heart or my life. As the presence of You in human form, betrayal has no power within me or over me. I choose to focus my attention on Who protects me, Who guides me and Who loves me. I now declare that, as I shift my focus, all sorrow and suffering is lifted from my heart. As I focus my attention on trusting You, I know that everything is in Divine Order. I know that all seeds and roots of betrayal are eliminated from my life. Thank You, God, for receiving this prayer. Thank You for the healing that is now an aspect of every fiber of my being. Thank You for healing in my life and in all my affairs. I am grateful for the healing in this moment and all moments to come. I rest in Thee. I let it be! And so it is!
2. Abandonment
How it feels: Everybody you care about has left or leaves you. People who were responsible for you, or to you, chose to walk away, often with no explanation. Something or someone was more important than you, so you got left behind. Anyone who was supposed to be there for you wasn't there. People you stood with, and for, were not there for you when you needed them. While abandonment is about people not being able to be there for you, rejection is an expression of not even being wanted.
How you talk to yourself about it: People are never/No one is ever there for me. He/She/They deserted me. He/She/They left me when I needed him/her/them the most. I got dumped.
A prayer to release it: I acknowledge You, God, as my ever-present Source of life and love. I acknowledge Your presence within me. With You and in You, I know I am never alone. I ask to feel Your love flowing into and through me in this moment. I ask for and open myself to be healed from all thoughts, feelings, beliefs and behaviors related to abandonment. I ask that every memory, fear and expectation of abandonment be cleansed and released from my mind, my heart and my soul. Acknowledging You as my constant friend and companion, I ask that every person whom I believe has ever abandoned me be surrounded and blessed by the pure light of Your presence in my mind.
I ask that any hurt and all wounds caused by the experiences I have named "abandonment" be filled with the presence of Your love so that they will be healed. Remind me, God, that You love me. Allow me to remember that You are always with me. Fill the empty places in my mind and heart with the fullness of Your grace so that I will know how to and when to let go. I now proclaim my total and complete healing. I call forth situations and circumstances that allow me to know and feel love. I am deeply and profoundly grateful for the power and grace of love present within me and for me. I release the power of these words, knowing that as I let go and let God, it is done. And so it is! Amen.
3. Grief
How it feels: All the wind has been sucked out of you. You feel depleted and doomed. You no longer have the desire or strength to keep going. You and/or your life no longer have a sense of meaning and purpose.
How you talk to yourself about it: Nothing matters to me anymore. I just can't...nothing can make me feel better. I just want to die. Just leave me alone. I'll never feel love/joy/peace again.
A prayer to release it: Blessed and Divine Holy Spirit, today, in this moment, I ask to be freed from the weight of grief. Today, in this moment, I ask to be lifted from the pit of sorrow. Today, in this moment, I surrender all attachment to loss. I confess to feeling heavy in my soul. I confess to having darkness in my mind. I confess to holding sorrow in my heart. I confess that I don't understand what has happened and why it has happened. I confess that I am holding thoughts and beliefs that block, deny and obstruct my experience and expression of joy.
Today, in this moment, knowing that You will respond, I ask for and open myself to receive the fullness of Your healing presence. Today, I ask for, accept and allow myself to receive Your love. Today, I ask for, accept and allow myself to receive the presence of Your light. Today, I accept Your will, and I surrender all questions about and resistance to why or how things happen. I ask for, accept and allow myself to receive all the goodness that You have prepared for me. I ask for, accept and allow Your love and light to flow to me and through me, ending all sorrow, suffering and grief. I declare that all is well within me and for me. Faithfully, I come into Your presence, knowing peace is my only option. For this, I am so grateful. And so it is!
4. Shame
How it feels: You feel like you want to, or need to, hide. You feel bad about yourself due to guilt over shortcomings, bad behavior or wrongdoing. You feel discredited because you have failed to meet your own standards of behavior or personhood. While guilt is public and external, shame is private and internal. Shame is the feeling that there's something deeply and profoundly wrong with you. Shame is rooted in the belief that you have not only failed to be or do your best but also brought dishonor upon yourself.
How you talk to yourself about: What did I do now? Why is everything my fault? It's always my fault. I must have done something wrong. Only bad people do things like this. If anyone found out, I'd feel terrible. Why did I/didn't I do that? I just can't help it. It's so embarrassing. I don't know why I can't/don't always ____. Why can't/don't I ever _____? Why do I always _____?
A prayer to release it: Praise You, God, as My Father, My Mother, My Friend. I acknowledge that I am one with You. I acknowledge that You are my wisdom and my peace. I thank You for Your grace and mercy in every area of my life. Breathe life into me, Father, so that the light of You will shine through me and eliminate all shame. I now lift to You the broken places in my mind so that they might be healed of shame. I now lift to You the broken places in my heart so that they might be healed of shame. I now lift to You every mistaken thought—past and present—that has distorted how I see myself and filled me with shame. I now lift to You every feeling I have held—past and present—that has polluted my heart with shame. Light my heart with joy and fill my spirit with peace so that I will never again feel ashamed. Give me total and complete acceptance of who I am on the inside, and let my acceptance of myself light up the world all around me.
I now reclaim the truth of my being in You. I now re-establish the power of my being in You. I am so grateful that You know and accept me just as I am. I ask to be restored to the fullness of my identity in You. I now open myself for an outpouring of Your loving light and guidance. Your spirit indwells me. Your truth infills me. Your love sustains me. Your presence within me reminds me that I am totally and completely acceptable to You. I declare there is nothing shameful about me. Knowing that You are with me in all things and through all circumstances, I simply desire to demonstrate more of You as me. Thank You, God, for reminding me who I am. Thank You, God, for teaching me to accept who I am. For this renewal and for the healing it brings, I am so grateful. I let it be! And so it is!
Iyanlza Vanzant is an acclaimed spiritual coach and the host of Iyanla: Fix My Life on the Oprah Winfrey Network. This adapted excerpt was taken from Get Over It!: Prayers and Affirmations for Healing the Hard Stuff, by Iyanla Vanzant.
NEXT STORY
