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The 30-Sec Change: Say "I See That You're..." in Tough Conversations
Like it or not, sometimes people we care about get upset with us. When this happens, try to verbalize the emotion that you are observing the other person, writes Emma Seppälä in The Happiness Track: How to Apply the Science of Happiness to Accelerate Your Success. Seppala, science director of Stanford’s Center for Compassion and Altruism Research, adds that sentences like “I see that you’re frustrated” can “improve the relationship you have with the other person, who will feel heard and understood.” Even more importantly, by showing the other person that you see their feelings , they have a chance to tell you about the root of the problem. One caveat: this method does not require you to say “I see that you’re right and I’m so, so wrong.” Unless, of course, this is actually the case.