"Every day it's nothing but more bad news."

Actually, we were quite delighted by these recent real-life stories:

Newfoundland Snow Mobilers Rescue Moose Buried in Neck-Deep Snow
"We knew the moose was stuck really good," says Canadian hero

Berlin Students Turn Swastika Graffiti into Clever Street Art
Transformed images include square-torsoed owl, unsolved Rubik's cube, guy doing "Walk Like an Egyptian" dance

Students Make One-Legged Duck a Prosthesis with 3-D Printer
Bird, who'd lost foot to turtle bite, waddles excitedly

Cow Escapes Slaughterhouse by Smashing Gate and Swimming to Nearby Island
Owner, a Mr. Lukasz, grants bovine clemency, resignedly begins bringing food to island

Best Friends for Years Learn They're Brothers
"I don't know how long it’s going to take for me to get over this feeling," says tearful, elated younger sibling

Alabama Girl Gives Bereaved Teacher Her Ice Cream Money
"I know it was real expensive when my daddy died," girl says, "and I don't really want ice cream today anyways"

Judge Excuses Man, 54, from Jury Duty After Man Reveals He's in Love for First Time
Would have missed weekend trip with special lady; "Go with my blessing," judge says

Gym Chain Bans Cable News Networks
Says constant attention to squawking pundits not conducive to "healthy way of life"


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